Procrastinating My Purpose

We all have those moments in which we have the opportunity to speak up, help someone, or defend something and yet we do nothing or remain silent. Those moments eat away at us because how we feel and expressing that is vital to living an honest and healthy life. Those moments matter and to let them slip away can redefine who we are. Of course this happens slowly over time but take it from someone who has stayed quiet too many times, it adds up.

I am only twenty three years old and I have prided myself as being a listener. The one who humbles myself to acknowledge your truth and redefine my truth to fit yours so as not to disagree or offend. Humbling yourself to hear others is important, but it is equally important to be heard. I lived through my middle school and high school years silent and waiting for my time to shine. I was waiting for college to be the time I made my voice heard and expressed who I really was. Those years of silence made it that much more difficult and left me quiet throughout college as well. I have taken breaks from school and I am currently in my last few semesters but I still have never allowed myself to be passionate outwardly in a culture of vastly changing principles.

So what finally reignited that passion in me? Well my faith and love for God has been there all along. He is the reason I am here. He gave me my passion and the ability to write. To continue to deny my love for writing and God would be the ultimate disservice. I may not be a great writer but I am reminded that God loves every single person He created. To Him, my writing is as lovely and important as anyone else’s. I love the idea that our emotions and our reactions to the world around us can transform from thought to words to ideas.

This world tells us that God is no longer needed, no longer necessary, and no longer popular. We are told, “be yourself” and then people who are fake are the ones being worshipped by the media and leaders. We are told, “you are enough” but “wait, you need to change that”. We are told that to survive in this world you put yourself before everyone else because you cannot rely on others. We are told that love is disguised as jealousy, manipulation, and sexual freedom. These are the lies that the devil so easily lays out for us to fall into.

These are the lies that prey on our selfish comforts in the world. If we want to hate someone and it feels good we let it take root in our hearts because we can justify it. If we want to sleep with as many people as we want because sex feels great and empowering then we will because that is justified. This world compliments and encourages selfishness and yet we are one of the most hurt and confused societies to have ever lived. We took God out of the equation and settled for the quick fixes of the world.

These quick fixes will never sustain or satisfy our souls. They will never allow us to reach the potential God instilled in us from the moment He planned our existence. With God in the equation, all things are possible. All things have hope and a prosperous future. With God we see that true love is free will, patience, humility, sacrifice and mercy. This beautiful tangle of pain and joy we call life is worth it because it is merely a small portion of a worldly existence that leads to hope in everlasting life with Him. Whether you believe or not, take a hard look at the culture around us. Is this shallow existence and mere coincidence really what life is or can you obtain so much depth if you allow yourself.

Allow yourself to experience heartache and suffering so that you can truly grasp real enduring love and acceptance when it comes your way. He is always there, always waiting, always ready for you. Ask and you will receive. Do not fear anymore. Do not judge what you have not allowed yourself understand. Take it day by day, moment by moment, breath by breath. Search wholeheartedly for truth. He is eternal and you are not an accident. You have a purpose on Earth but better yet you have a role in eternity with your Creator.

As a college student, I understand wholly the persuasion of procrastination. But it is time to recognize your potential and let it be what defines you in a world of blurring principles and lost people.



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